The Blog for Men

If you can keep your head while all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself while all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
Yet never look too good, nor talk to wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master,
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the Truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make a heap of all your winnings
And risk it on a turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

– Rudyard Kipling

There are an ungodly amount of TV shows that litter our TV screens these days.  You can place these programs into a few buckets:  reality shows, cop shows, bad sitcoms, and doctor shows.  We have more shows than ever before to pick from, but so very few funny shows.  There are a few mainstream shows out there that most critics agree are pretty funny: Curb Your Enthusiasm, 30 Rock, The Office (UK & US), and maybe a couple others.  So I wanted to take a couple minutes today to point out a few hilarious shows that you may not have heard of.

 

 

Trailer Park Boys

Trailer Park Boys is a show that is much more intelligent than it may initially seem.  On the surface there is a lot of foul language, crude behavior, drinking, stealing, and other outlandish activity.  However, if you peel back the onion there is some great comedy going on (much of it completely improvised).

The show is a Canadian “mockumentary” depicting life at Sunnyvale Trailer Park.  First and foremost, there are Ricky and Julian.  They have been friends since they were kids, and have always been up to no good.  Julian is the “brains” of Sunnyvale Trailer Park, and everyone looks to him as a leader of sorts.  Ricky is a fun-loving, erratic behaving guy who swears a lot and really struggles with words (see video below).    They have a sidekick named Bubbles who lives in a shed with a bunch of cats.  The trailer park is run by Jim Lahey, an ex-cop and intermittent (usually more on than off) alcoholic, and his assistant Randy (who loves cheeseburgers, never wears a shirt, and strips down to his bright white briefs if he is going to get in a fight).  The plot generally centers on some sort of get-rich-quick scheme that the boys come up with.  These plans ultimately hit some sort of obstacle…then hilarity ensues.  There are some GREAT characters in this show that appear regularly or on a recurring basis.

A few interesting notes…

• For most of the shows run (’01 – ’08), the actors refused to break character in press appearances to further enhance the appeal of the “mockumentary style”.
• The show is very loosely scripted with much of dialog simply ad-libbed and the action improvised.
• Ellen Page, the well-known actress from Juno & Inception, has the role of Jim Lahey’s daughter in a couple seasons.

You can check out Peep Show on Netflix streaming or iTunes (paid).

 

Peep Show

Point-of-view camera shots, unpredictable twists, and internal dialogue are a few of the reasons I HIGHLY recommend “Peep Show”.  Peep Show is a British sit-com that follows around two roommates in their early twenties, Mark and Jeremy.  Mark is socially awkward, risk-averse, and a bit pessimistic, whereas Jeremy is much more optimistic but also views himself as a more talented, successful, and attractive than the rest of the world finds him.

The show has been running since 2003, which makes it the longest running sit-com ever on the UK’s Channel 4.  It has achieved cult status in the UK.  Well known comedian and actor Ricky Gervais called it, “the best show on television today”.  The humor is definitely British and a bit raunchy at times, but the characters are surprisingly lovable idiots.  Most people that watch the show seem to get a few good belly laughs per episode.

Mark: What does your sister do?

Toni: Not much. She’s got leukaemia.

Mark: (That’s what you get for trying to flirt.)

Mark: That’s terrible. I’m so sorry. I suppose… I mean, at least it’s not cancer.’

Toni: It’s a form of cancer.

Mark: Man. That’s terrible. My gran… died of cancer. Although, hopefully, your sister… won’t.     Obviously. Listen, let’s talk about something else. Something fun.’

You can check out Peep Show on Netflix streaming, Hulu (free for some episodes), or iTunes (paid).

 

Louie

Louis C.K. has been a funny comedian for a long time, “Louie” is his first real all-out venture into the world of television.  It is a dark comedy that centers on a fictionalized version of himself.   The show is about fictionalized Louie’s life as a newly divorced father of two girls.  He lives in NYC and is a moderately successful comedian.  This show is far from serialized, featuring very few recurring characters, and each show essentially being independent of the others.  Unlike the other two shows which started 10+ years ago, this show is newer and still in its early stages of development.  The jokes are a bit dark and focus on some relevant issues (divorce, sex, etc…) in a much different way than a normal sit-com.  Give it a chance and see what you

A couple interesting notes…

• The show is very low budget – $300k per episode
• Louis C.K. is the writer, director, producer, and star…he even edits some of the episodes himself

You can check out Peep Show on Netflix streaming, or iTunes (paid).

 

Thoughts?  Opinions?  Anything to add to the list?  Leave  comments below…

Marissa Mayer is beautiful. Blonde hair and blue eyes with an arresting smile; it seems likely Brian Wilson anachronistically wrote “California Girls” about her. It’s not her looks, though, that make Marissa one of the most powerful women in the world. Beautiful women come a dime-a-dozen, a lucky confluence of genetics and fashion.

Make no mistake; Marissa Miller is brilliant. After earning an M.S. in Computer Science from Stanford, Marissa became the first female engineer at a Silicon Valley startup called “Google.” Through the 2000’s she helmed Google’s User Interface (how the site looks and works) and served as Vice President of Search Products. Google Maps, Gmail, Google Earth, Google News; Marissa molded each, asking “is each pixel just right?”[1]

Marissa is chiefly responsible for Google’s spare and clean aesthetic: “I really love color…[and] very clean, simple lines.” [2] Stories of her exacting control of color, lines and fonts are the stuff of legend at Google’s Mountain View, CA Headquarters.

Being as she who controls Google’s search page controls the internet, Forbes Magazine named her one of its 50 Most Powerful Women for 2011. At only 36 years old, she is the youngest ever to receive the honor. Not that accolades are anything new; she was among Glamour’s Women of the Year in 2009 and has graced the cover of Newsweek Magazine. Marissa has also run the Portland Marathon and the San Francisco Half-Marathon, among others.

“I refuse to be stereotyped,” she says. “I think it’s very comforting for people to put me in a box. ‘Oh, she’s a fluffy girlie girl who likes clothes and cupcakes. Oh, but wait, she is spending her weekends doing hardware electronics.’ ”[3]

Now Vice President of Location and Local Services, Marissa recently spearheaded Google’s acquisition of Zagat Survey. A fiercely competitive person, in her 13 years with Google, she’s risen from a mere programmer to “the one deciding what [Google does].”[4] 13 more years and she’ll probably rule the world.

Regardless of your chosen (if not chosen, than your current) profession, the ability to effectively communicate in person can be the biggest factor in your career advancement.  This communication could take the shape of a one on one conversation with your boss, a meeting with a small group of clients, or a presentation to a large group of people.  The circumstances in which communicate with each other are unavoidable, yet many people DREAD these interactions…especially presenting in the front of a room.  Everyone knows someone that has a communication style that seems easy and confident and we assume that they were born with the ability and feel completely comfortable up there.  FALSE.

Here is what is true:

Most people that look comfortable in a meeting or in front of the room do so for one of two reasons…

• They have spoken in these situations (i.e. PRACTICED) so many times that it is second nature to them to be in front of the room, and they do feel comfortable.  Often, they have also had training to help them refine their skill.
• They have practiced and rehearsed so much that they are able to present effectively.  Most likely this person does NOT feel comfortable up there; they just come across that way because of their preparation.

Experts will tell you that what you say only account for 10-20% of communication, the rest is accounted for in your non-verbal communication and the WAY you say what you are speaking about.  Fortunately for us all, we can learn how to improve our communication skills by leaps and bounds.

 

Posture, Stance & Gestures

All communication professionals will agree on one thing, your normal standing posture should be simple.  Stand straight and tall with feet approximately shoulder width apart (not leaning, swaying, or fidgeting)

Arms should fall straight to the sides with the hands relaxed (not in the pockets, behind the back, or clasped in front)

*If you are sitting down during a presentation sit close to the table with your back straight and your hands relaxed on the table in front of you.

This is your baseline.  From this initial stance, you can build in some animation….

Work in some hand gestures by describing the words you are saying (if something is big, show them how big with outstretched arms).  Don’t be afraid to raise or stretch out your arms! This is true if you are sitting down or standing up.  You should also add in some facial animation, and don’t be afraid to add a slight smile (when appropriate).

 

The Eyes

I can’t remember back far enough, but I’m guessing somewhere around 5^th or 6^th grade you are probably taught how to read or speak in front of a room.  You are taught that you should make eye contact with the audience.  After that initial lesson, you probably have never had any additional coaching on what that eye contact actually IS.  If you notice the eyes of untrained speakers they look up, down, they scan the room quickly without ever really “connecting” with the audience; they look at their computer, or the projector.  They really are all over the place!

The trick for eye contact is to speak to just one person at a time.  You should make eye contact with one individual and talk directly to them for a full thought or for a sentence or two.  You should then have a brief pause (no “filler words” in the pause…uhh, umm, you know, like, etc.) and you should move on to another person.  You will be shocked at how much this helps you.  It really does put you at ease and allow you to think about what you are saying vs. the frantic feeling you have when you are darting your eyes around the room.  This also keeps your audience engaged.  When you are looking them in the eye, they are forced to listen actively instead of having their mind wander.

 

The WAY you say it

For most people here is a quick summary of your presentation skills.

• You are too quiet
• You talk too fast
• You don’t pause between thoughts or sentences
• You sometimes run out of breath when speaking
• You keep the same volume through your entire presentation
• You voice trails off at the end of a sentence.

Yes, that is a bit negative, but the truth is, we know how to fix all of these things.  In fact, most of the time when we communicate informally with friends and family, we do the opposite of this list!  We DO HAVE inflection in our voice, we don’t trail off at sentences, and we rarely sound quiet or monotone.  Try to incorporate some of that energy you show in your personal interactions into the work setting.  It will go a long way.  You don’t have to go so far that you sound like a wedding DJ or a morning radio host, just try to be a little more vibrant.

These are all “simple” things to do, but that doesn’t mean they make for a simple fix.  It requires patience and practice to become a great speaker.  Start off by focusing on one or two items.  For instance, first work on your eye contact in meetings.  Keep drilling that trait until it is second nature to you, then move on to the inflection of your voice, and so on.  The athlete who can speak in front of a camera gets the endorsement deals, the accountant who is good in front of a room becomes CFO, the entrepreneur that feels comfortable in front of potential clients, turns them into clients.

How do you work on your communication skills?  What do you struggle with?  Leave your comments below.

Crawl Through the Sh*t – 11 Lessons from “The Shawshank Redemption”

RED

Not long after the warden deprived us of his company, I got a postcard in the mail. It was blank, but the postmark said Fort Hancock, Texas. Fort Hancock… right on the border. That’s where Andy crossed. When I picture him heading south in his own car with the top down, it always makes me laugh. Andy Dufresne… who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side. Andy Dufresne… headed for the Pacific

On its surface, Frank Darabont’s 1994 masterpiece, The Shawshank Redemption, is a Hollywood-standard prison flick. The film’s true beauty, though, comes in viewing Shawshank Prison as a metaphor that which restrains our everyday lives. Seen as such, The Shawshank Redemption is a modern-day fable of universal truths.

1. Leave the Gun: The film opens with Andy Dufresne accused of his wife’s murder. Although innocent, Andy is damned to Shawshank by his fingerprints on the bullets near his wife’s home. Drunk and confused, Andy dropped them as he left. Don’t give in to anger; had Andy simply left his gun and ammunition at home, he would have walked a free man.

2. Make informed decisions: Red first misinterprets Andy’s quiet nature as pride, saying Andy has a “silver spoon up his ass.” Lucky for Red, he isn’t blinded by ignorance. He takes the time to know Andy and builds a friendship which ultimately rewards him with freedom.

3. Buy that Man a Beer: When Andy squares a financial matter for the Guard Captain, all he asks for in return is a few beers for Red and his friends. Drinking “Bohemia-style beer” and with “the sun on [their] shoulders…like free men,” Andy gains an invaluable group of friends inside the prison. Moving furniture or tarring the plate factory roof—a few beers go a long way to repay a man.

4. Find a Hobby: In a prison or working 9 to 5, some days pass slower than others. Andy battles malaise with rock carving, a hobby which hatches his plan to escape Shawshank. A good hobby can stir the weary spirit and lead us to happier vocations.

5. Remember Zihuatanejo:  Over the course of his 20 years in Shawshank, Andy is raped, beaten and made a puppet for evil. Never once, though, do we see him despair—because he remembers Zihuatanejo: the Pacific city “with no memory.” Having a ‘happy place,’ be it a place or a goal, recharges our spent batteries.

6. Serve Others: Every action in the film depends on one character serving another. Red gives Andy the rock hammer. Andy leaves the means for Red to cross into Mexico. Andy, through his tutelage of Tommy, learns of his wife’s real killer, absolving his guilt. Even in cooking the crooked Warden’s ledgers, Andy paves the way for his escape. Do something for someone else, the rewards are greater than mere money.

7. Appreciate the Beauty of Women: We’re not talking Kim Kardashian here. Andy’s lesson is to admire women for both their beauty and their skill. First Rita Hayworth, then Raquel Welch, the women on Andy’s posters weren’t coveted for mere looks, but rather for the substance of their abilities.

8. All it Takes is Time and Pressure: Andy, writing a letter a week for six years, receives funding to renovate the prison library. Tunneling night after night, Andy manages to achieve the impossible—escape Shawshank—in only 20 years. Red says it best: “Oh, Andy loved geology. I imagine it appealed to his meticulous nature. An ice age here, million years of mountain building there. Geology is the study of pressure and time. That’s all it takes really, pressure, and time.”

9. Crawl Through the Sh*t: Sometimes, to reach our goals, we have to trudge through bullsh*t. Andy, in escaping via Shawshank’s sewage pipe, literally “crawled through a river of sh*t and came out clean on the other side.” Makes sitting through a mid-afternoon status meeting seem easy in comparison.

10. Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying: Spoken by Andy and echoed by Red, this line serves as Shawshank’s reminder that life is lived, not experienced. Andy and Red succeed in escaping Shawshank because they take agency in their own lives rather than be slaves to circumstance.

11. Above all else—Hope: Hope is The Shawshank Redemption’s thesis. The closing minutes of the film repeat the word ‘hope’ as if a mantra, and it is with the word ‘hope’ that the narration ends. Andy repairing his boat on the Pacific shores, Red walking toward him, the film’s final shot is hope incarnate, and damn if it doesn’t make me cry every time.

Keith Good is a writer, husband and father living in Ohio. His fiction has most recently appeared in The Punkin House Digest and Yesteryear Fiction.

photo credits: streeat89

CrossFit or “The Sport of Fitness” is growing quickly. What started out in a few garages out in California has turned into a fitness juggernaut with Reebok commercials on prime time TV and a $1M prize package “CrossFit Games”. The reason for the success of CrossFit? When done correctly, it REALLY works. Whether you want to get strong, get in shape, lose weight, gain muscle, or just get off the couch…there is a good chance that CrossFit is for you.

CrossFit is decidedly manly. We are talking about dropping weights, flipping tires, snatchin’ kettlebells, throwing things, and climbing. Men should be active, and CrossFit is definitely active. CF attempts to merge together all the different elements of fitness into one all-encompassing training method. The training combines Olympic weightlifting, gymnastics, running, rowing, rope climbing, kettlebell training, sandbag carrying, medicine ball exercises, bodyweight movements, powerlifting, sprinting, and more. If you see someone at your gym doing something equal parts strange & badass, there is a good chance it is CrossFit. CrossFit wants you to “get comfortable with the uncomfortable”, prepare for the “unknown and unknowable” by performing “constantly varied, functional movements at high intensity” (all common sayings in the community). CF preaches “functional fitness” versus exercise for the sake of exercise. The approach is a bit minimalist, no big machines or treadmills required. You can equip a great home CrossFit gym for just a couple thousand bucks.

 

The CrossFit formula is simple, head to CrossFit.com (or your local CrossFit affiliate’s website or gym). They will post a WOD (workout of the day) each day (at the gym or on their site). Most workouts have some element of measurement (time, weight, repetitions, etc.).

Here is what an example 3-day workout plan might look like:

Day 1
“Tabata This!”
Tabata Row
Rest 1 minute
Tabata Squat
Rest 1 minute
Tabata Pull-up
Rest 1 minute
Tabata Push-up
Rest 1 minute
Tabata Sit-up
The Tabata interval is 20 seconds of work followed by 10 seconds of rest for 8 intervals.

Day 2
Run 5K

Day 3
Five rounds for time of:
12 Wallball shots, 20 pound ball
12 Toes-to-bar

The workouts are always different and you are never going to do the same workout twice in a row (probably not even twice in 2 months). Every day is a new challenge. Many CrossFitters are found checking their i-phones to see what the next WOD is or to see what times other athletes churned out on that days WOD.

As I mentioned before, a big reason for the popularity is the fact that it works (assuming it is taught & coached correctly). There are A TON of testimonials and success stories. People frequently lose 50 pounds or recapture the athleticism of their youth. Some become more advanced in their profession (for those in the military, police, fire or other physically demanding professions). Beyond that, you often see huge gains in peoples self confidence, their attitude and their overall health and energy levels in everyday life. Here are a few reasons why it works:

The atmostphere – If you are doing the workouts in good CrossFit gyms it’s a really cool atmosphere. There are a couple of trainers watching form an technique and correcting mistakes. People that were in the earlier class often stick around to cheer on the later class, and the folks in the late class might come early to cheer on the class before theirs. In a good gym, there aren’t really any egos…just a bunch of people trying to better themselves.

The workouts – The workouts themselves can be pretty fun. Playing with medicine balls, kettlebells and dumbbells is fun and different. You will also row & climb ropes, you may even get to throw things or do Olympic lifts. Yes, the workouts can be a bit sadistic and they definitely get you out of your comfort zone, but people get hooked. It is much more interesting than logging minutes on the treadmill or elliptical each day. The workouts are also often short, usually intense, and aim to be well thought out so you continually get better, stronger, faster, leaner, etc. Additionally, the measurement aspect keeps you showing constant improvement. In the example above you would have run a 5k on Day 2. You might not run another 5k for 7 months, but in 7 months if you stick with CrossFit you will likely run a much faster time, and it is a real good feeling to go back in your training log and see you ran a 5K four minutes faster than you did 7 months ago.

The people – As I mentioned before, there aren’t many egos in a good CF gym. In most CF gyms I’ve been to: the people are welcoming, the trainers are friendly, everyone looks to help out everyone else, and newcomers get treated just as good (if not better) than regulars. Members are people from all walks of life, all levels of income and abilities, young and old, men and women. Everyone is there to get better than they were the day before. Many strong friendships are formed in these gyms, and the members often get together for social events beyond just working out together.

The snowball effect – Regardless of what you may think, the people around you greatly influence you. When you go to CrossFit, everyone else is trying their best, so you want to do the same. Most people eat healthy, so you want to do the same (you also know how much harder that workout will be if you eat McDonalds instead of the meat and vegetables). High intensity workouts are a great stress reliever, so you have an outlet you might not have had before. All these things combined (an more) have a great cumulative effect and they all move hand in hand..imagine a stronger, slimmer, less stressed out, healthy eating YOU.

How to get started?
The best way to get started is to ask around and find out who the good CrossFit trainers are in your area. You could head to the CrossFit message boards and ask around for the most reputable trainers, or just stop in at a few local gyms and talk to the trainers. Once you find a place you feel good about (focus on the trainer vs. what the gym looks like), sign up for their intro session (sometimes called “elements”, “on-ramp”, or “foundations”) and get going right away. If you don’t have access to a CF gym near you of if you can’t make class times or you can’t afford monthly dues…start spending loads of time on the CrossFit.com. You can watch videos and demos on how to learn the lifts and movements, practice them at home or at your gym,. Start off with light or no weight and do your best to master the movements.

 

It’s time to embrace your inner MAN and give a CrossFit workout a try.

Be careful of…
There are a few things to be wary of.  YES, you can hurt yourself doing CrossFit. You must spend a lot of time correctly learning the movements. You should make every effort to get a qualified and knowledgable trainer to train you. Get a few references from some current members at the gym to make sure they are worth the monthly dues.

Don’t do too soon too fast. There is a definite addiction factor, many want to do more and more and more. Know your limits, build up to the workouts, and don’t try to be a hero early on (that comes later!).

As always – check with your doctor before you get started

 

photo credits: cnolan011

At some point in their life, every man has to tie a tie. For most men, this happens more frequently than just weddings and funerals. It is basically a rite of passage for every father to pass down the knowledge of how to master all the looping, swooping, and pulling. For those of you who weren’t lucky enough to learn from your father or may have forgotten his advice, we have a little guide for you. You might not realize that there are a few different types of knots you can tie, and there are some other guidelines based on the event and the type of shirt you are wearing.

Versatile Knots

There are a few knots that you can wear pretty much anytime, regardless of shirt type or event. The most common are the “Four-in-Hand Knot” and the “Half-Windsor”. The four-in-hand is probably the easiest way to tie your tie, and is probably the way your dad taught you when you were a kid. It is an asymmetrical knot that can be worn for most occasions and with most shirts. The half-Windsor is slightly more formal than the four-in-hand, but is also very versatile. It is a triangular knot that can be worn for most occasions and with most standard shirts. The only time I would warn against wearing a half-Windsor is if you have a tie made of very thick material.

Four in Hand

Drape the tie around your collar and start with the wide end approximately a foot lower than the narrow end; cross it over.
Wrap the wide end underneath the narrow end.
Bring the wide end back over in front of narrow end again.
Pull the wide end up and through the back of the loop.
Hold the front of the knot loosely with your index finger; pass the wider end down through the loop.
If the tie isn’t the correct length, simply start over and adjust the length of your tie accordingly. Make sure your collar covers the tie nicely on the sides and back, and try to make sure knot is as centered as you can make it.

Half Windsor

Drape the tie around your collar and start with the wide end approximately a foot lower than the narrow end; cross the wide end over the narrow end.
Wrap the wide end around back of narrow end.
Bring the wide end up through the loop, and then back down.
Wrap the wide end back around to the front.
Swing it back up through the loop again.
Carefully pull the wide end all the way through (keeping it facing the right way) and tighten the knot.
Hold the narrow end, push up the knot, and tighten it snugly around your collar.
If the tie isn’t the correct length, simply start over and adjust the length of your tie accordingly. Make sure your collar covers the tie nicely on the sides and back, and try to make sure knot is as centered as you can make it.

Formal Knot

The Windsor knot (or double Windsor) is a more formal than the others we have discussed. It was named for the Duke of Windsor, but in reality, he didn’t actually invent the knot. It is a triangular knot for formal occasions. It is a bigger knot than the others, so should be worn with a cut-away or spread shirt collar.

Windsor

Drape the tie around your collar and start with the wide end approximately a foot lower than the narrow end; cross it over.
Wrap the wider end around, and bring it up over and through the loop between the collar and the tie. Then pull it down toward the front.
Curl the wide end that is remaining behind the narrow end.
Bring the wide end back up again through the loop.
Put down through loop and pull around across narrow end as shown.
Bring the wide end up and tuck it through the loop a third time, and bring it down to the front.
Finally, pull down on the wide end carefully to tighten and draw up the knot snugly to your collar.
If the tie isn’t the correct length, simply start over and adjust the length of your tie accordingly. Make sure your collar covers the tie nicely on the sides and back, and try to make sure knot is as centered as you can make it.

Other knots

There are a few other knots out there even some that are relatively well known, like the Prince Albert. However, the only other one most men might need to use is the “Small Knot”. The small knot is just like its name implies, small. This is a good knot for a tie that is made of a thick fabric, for when you have a shirt with a narrow or close-fitting collar, or if you prefer the trendy look of a skinny tie with a skinny knot.

Small Knot

Twist the wide end so that the seam shows. Then cross the narrow end over the wide end
Pass the wider end over the narrow end.
Pass the wider end under the small knot that is formed.
Pull the rest of the wide end through to the front.
Pass the wide end of the necktie under the top layer of the knot, and pull the wide end all the way through.
If the tie isn’t the correct length, simply start over and adjust the length of your tie accordingly. Make sure your collar covers the tie nicely on the sides and back, and try to make sure knot is as centered as you can make it.

*As a general rule, the tie should come down to the top of your belt. This varies with age

Most of us can agree that “401k” is not a very exciting topic. True. But, if you don’t want to work your whole life, it is important. Everyone has probably heard of a 401k, but let’s break it down so you can actually understand it (It’s actually pretty easy). If you are a teacher, you work at a hospital, church or non-profit you may have a 403b account, which is very similar – so read on…

Defined…
A 401K is technically “an employer sponsored defined contribution plan in the United States (this has a defined contribution amount invested, but gives no guarantee as to what your benefit will be upon retirement).” What the hell does that mean? It means that every time you get paid, you elect to have the company withhold some money from your paycheck and deposit it in some sort of investment.

The 1st Benefit
Often, your company will even kick in a little extra on top of what you invest (an example policy would be…company matches 50% up to 6% of gross pay – so if you make 10,000 in a pay period and invest the full amount $600…the company will kick in an extra $300 – THIS IS FREE MONEY!). Free money is good. Not investing in your 401k is like giving away money.

2nd Benefit
So the first benefit is free money. There is one more benefit…no taxes!!! (well, not yet…) The money you decide to invest will be taken out of your gross pay. You don’t have to pay taxes until you take the money out of the 401k, which is probably after you retire. Once you retire, this basically replaces your income, so it will be most likely a much lower tax rate than it would be it currently is for you.

3rd Benefit
One other feature of a 401K is that many employers let you “borrow” money from your 401k for a small list of reasons, like buying your first house.

What if you change jobs or get fired?
In the event you get fired or you change jobs, you will not lose the money that you invested! Sometimes, if you are not “vested” you could lose the interest that you made on your investment, but you won’t lose what your actual investment. If you change jobs, your money can be moved into your new employers 401k (if they have one) or else you can be move it into an individual IRA or another investment vehicle. If for some reason you hit financial difficulty, there are ways to withdraw the money early with a small penalty.

How much should I put contribute???
At a minimum, you should contribute up to the maximum amount that the company will perform some sort of matching on. This is free money, if you do not find a way to do this, then you are really hurting yourself financially.

Let’s say you make $100,000/year. If you were a and employee at the company explained above (company match of 50% up to a 6% contribution), over the course of the year you would contribute $6,000, and the company would match that with an additional $3,000. This is $3,000 dollars of free money.

There is a limit on how much you can deposit in a 401k in a given year ($17,000 for 2012). It should also be noted that for some highly compensated employees there could be some additional limitations. Your human resources or benefits department should be able to provide you with information if needed.

Okay – I’m convinced to contribute? What do I invest in?
401k plans typically allow employees to select from an assortment of mutual funds, certain stocks (often times the stock of your employer), bonds, and money market funds. Selecting your allocation can be daunting to someone that does not have finance experience or education.

My general advice would be to discuss this with a friend or colleague who is educated in finance. Another good way to get some suggestions is to go to an investing forum, read some investing literature, or just search the internet. There really are some great sources of information on the web (blogs, forums, and investing company free materials). Just remember, investing is highly personalized and there are no hard and fast rules. There are a ton of factors to consider: age, risk aversion, financial situation, standard of living, family, debt, credit score, and many more. I would also highly recommend seeking out some real professional advice from a CFP (Certified Financial Planner…this is the most well respected financial planning designation).

Then What???
Once you put the money in…sit back and let it grow. Constantly checking the value of investments is an easy way to drive you insane, but you should keep an eye on it. Make sure you have regular updates with your financial adviser to update them on your overall situation.

Today we have a little history lesson.  Most men out there have come across the movie 300.  The movie was generally accepted as a pretty good action flick.  It is all based around the Battle of Thermopylae, at which 300 Spartans took on a HUGE number of Persian soldiers.  This makes it’s way onto the blog for men for obvious reasons.  300 vs. 200,000….it takes some serious guts to willingly step into odds like that.  Read below for a little more info on the ancient Greeks…

This battle was between a few Greek city-states (primarily Sparta) led by King Leonidas and the Persian Empire led by Xerxes.

The full Spartan force was made up of approximately 300 Spartans, 700 Thespians, and 400 Thebans. The Persian army was a force that vastly outnumbered the Greeks. Scholars have debated the actual number of Persians at Thermopylae for years, but modern consensus has the Persian forces numbering around 200,000. This battle however would be decided not solely by numbers, but by three other factors: the Spartan warrior cultures, sound military planning, and ultimately…betrayal.

Sparta lived in a military culture; all Greek men were a member of the active military until the age of sixty. Spartan boys began their military training at age 7 in what Spartans called the “Agoge”. In the Agoge boys were taught physical toughness, they had to steal in order to have enough food to eat, and they were taught fighting and weaponry. Some were even sent into the wilderness with nothing but a knife. At 18 they became full fledged members of the army where they would bond closely with the rest of the army and stay on full active duty until the age of 30 (remaining on reserve until the age of 60 as mentioned earlier). This military culture, a culture where men fully bought in to this militaristic culture, made the men fully believe that this moment was the apex of their lives.

The decision by King Leonidas to position the Greek forces at the “Hot Gates” was true military genius. This passage was a narrow corridor with the mountains on one side and a cliff on the other. Using this position it made it possible for the Spartans to line the narrow passage, and only as many Persians could attack as could fit in the narrow pass, effectively forcing the numbers to be even. This geographical advantage almost won the battle for the Spartans

Ultimately, A Spartan traitor named Ephialtes informed Xerxes of a secret path that would allow the Persians to sneak behind the Spartans, which was a sure step to the defeat of the Spartans. Ephialtes did this for monetary reward, so as demonstrated so many times…the treachery of man alters history.

In the end, most of those in the small Spartan group lost their lives, but their sacrifice enabled the rest of Sparta to assemble and ultimately push the Persians out over the next year.